I Hate Everyone

Including today I have 5 days until my bday. Last week I had said I wanted to lose 4 more lbs before my bday. Well it's been 5 days since then and I think I've been doing a pretty good job. However the scale does not agree with me. Somehow I am up 1 lb today. Awesome.

Ok so here are my thoughts on this. For the most part it's just really frustrating and makes me mad and makes me want to give up. Like, I'm sorry did my body just forget to notice that I went to the gym, the place I hate most in life, 5 miserable days in a row last week?? Um, hello? And as far as eating goes I've been pretty good I think. Not perfect - but certainly better than the week before. So that on it's own should give me at least a pound or two, right?

I feel like one of those fat people on the Biggest Loser who sometimes gain weight one week instead of losing. Like how the hell do you gain weight on the Biggest Loser?? All you do is work out! For like 6 hours a day! What is wrong with you people????

I talked about dealing with plateuas before. To be honest I thought that by adding in the gym to my already pretty good diet that would help kick me out of this phase. Guess not.

On the other hand... well there's not much in this hand but here's what I've got. There is a really good chance that I'm retaining some water this morning. Every meal I ate yesterday was fairly salty. Especially the 2 small snacks I had last night instead of dinner. So you guys should all know how much of an effect that has on the scale for me. So... maybe that can account for the additional pound - maybe 2 pounds. Maybe.

Other than that I'm just pissed. Oh and while I'm at it - you know what else I'm pissed about? I'm pissed about the fact that I am living in a house where I can't control what shows up in the kitchen. Like some days I come home and there's a box of glazed donuts sitting on the counter. And other days, like yesterday, there is a pint of Ben and Jerrys Half Baked Ice Cream in the freezer. Some things I can resist. Like so far I've managed to resist the donuts - not sure how but I have. However, I happen to think that Half Baked ice cream is one of the most delicious things ever made on this planet. And if I had nothing to worry about I would eat it all day everyday while sitting on the couch and watching tv. That's basically heaven to me. So no - I can't resist the ice cream. I had a bite of it yesterday. ONE bite. I promise. And even though I don't think that it had anything to do with the extra pound today it just makes me mad that I even have to put up with shit like this in my own house. Oh wait I forgot, I'm not living in my own house. That's right. I'm living with my mom, her boyfriend (he's to blame for the ice cream) and his daughter. And not only does fat people food show up in my house but my healthy diet food always disappears. I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE. SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE.

Ok I'm done. Miss Wilde... I may be taking you up on your Apple Cider Vinegar trick. Cause with the way this week is going, if I dont lose at least one more pound before Sunday, I'm not showing up to my bday. I'll let you know how it works out.